I’ve been experiencing some huge transitions lately. It’s a combination of good and bad things which, to be honest, has been a wild experience. I’m in the process of letting something that has been a huge part of my life go while also letting something magical in. With so many emotions running through my body, my feelings are having to be constantly evaluated. The biggest breakthrough I’m having: life doesn’t have to be that hard.
Let’s dive into this more.
Okay okay okay, full disclosure. I’m dating someone. EEK. It’s beautiful, wonderful, exciting and equally terrifying. I’ll have to dissect my romantic past for you all in another post, but for now just know that I’ve grown and learned so much about myself and relationships through meeting this person.
On the other side of the coin, I’m leaving behind a friendship that has been so near and dear to my heart. This person has been a huge part of my journey the past two years, and although we both know it’s for the best, it doesn’t make it easier to walk away and emotions will continue to come up until that chapter is fully closed.
So I have two big transitions with emotions on opposite ends of the spectrum and my body has been trying to process it all. Physically I haven’t been sleeping or eating well and my body just feels OFF.
One Sunday, I completely broke. I called my best friend and we spoke for hours about what was going on. I asked her what I could do to relieve myself of some of this emotional strain and we weren’t sure. The best thing we could come up with was “wait it out” and I knew that didn’t feel like my best option. After our phone call, I started walking. I kept walking and walking, racking my brain for what I could do in this situation. I walked 2 hours before finally coming up with a solution.
I came up with two: reaching out and being open about what I’ve been going through with my new partner, and fully accepting the end of this friendship with pure love.
I’ll speak on the friendship first.
There is a certain level of grieving with anything you let go of. I’ve been through all the stages multiple times, as grieving is not linear, and it’s been tough. Some days are easier than others. In order for me to bring myself peace in this situation, I need to fully let go. But the way in which I let go is of equal importance.
If you let go of something out of pain – sadness, anger, resentment – you’re not truly letting go. It will stick with you and come up again in the future when you least expect it. If you let go of something out of love, you are accepting and honoring the situation for what it truly is and allowing it to leave. Since doing this I have felt more relief. Though I still have my days, they are easier than they were before.
When it comes to this new relationship, it’s important for me to be honest and communicate my struggles. A lot of us feel we need to go through it alone, especially when things are fresh and new. There’s this fear of damaging the relationship before it’s even begun. But going through it alone can also make things harder, and all we really want is someone that we can lean on through tough times.
I’m blessed to have met someone who has the capacity and desire to hold space for my emotions. Being able to open up, not only about our own relationship and what limiting beliefs are coming up for me, but also the loss of this friendship has taken a huge weight off my shoulders.
While my situations are still what they are, they seem lighter and I’m able to focus my energy on things that are important to me, like my work and hobbies.
I could have pushed through, fought back, or closed myself off. But I decided to open up, love, and be vulnerable. I’m still in the midst of this transition, and I know good things are on the other side. That’s how the universe works.
I’m so excited for what’s to come in the future, but I’m also trying to embrace what is right now. It’s important to feel into everything I’m experiencing so that I can come out as the best version of myself.
I already feel stronger and wiser from this experience, and I hope that by sharing this story with you, it helps you to be strong as well. There are ways to take away strain on what you are currently going through while also honoring your emotions and the experience itself.
This is what I preach. This is why I mentor you. These moments are the most important.