Let me give you a little background about myself: I’m a very nice person. In fact, I’m sometimes too nice. I’m the person that people take advantage of. I’m the person who is welcoming to anyone they meet. I can’t be mean or rude when a man (or rather ‘boy’) hits on me or makes me uncomfortable. When my personal bubble is CLEARLY being violated, I probably won’t tell that person to screw off. Because I can’t stand the idea of being mean to another person.
With my inability to be mean to someone else, comes the overwhelming sensitivity to someone being mean to me. I’ve been taken advantage of in all aspects of my life: as a coworker, as a friend, as a roommate, as a classmate, as a stranger…I get taken advantage of a lot. I’m the girl who rearranges her priorities for you. Just pull on my heart strings and you’ll probably get something out of me.
Now this isn’t a pity party. I don’t want you to think that this is something I hate about myself. It’s something I absolutely love about myself because there aren’t enough of us in the world. I’m someone others can trust and count on. One of the biggest lessons that I’ve learned over the years is that there is always someone who is going to try to take advantage of you. What really matters is how you handle it.
Of course my biggest struggle I’ve had with these situations is how to handle them. Should I be nice and do what they ask/demand of me? Should I be mean? Is there a happy median? What are you supposed to do about someone who did you wrong and still comes back for more? Do what you feel comfortable doing, be nice. But DO NOT fall victim.
You may be able to pull off a little white lie, they may be understanding, or you may just piss them off. More than likely you’ll piss them off. You know how I know this? Because they are more SHOCKED that you said ‘no’ and this is the only way they know how to react. It’s not you, I promise.
This is the most important time that you need to stay strong and stick with your gut. They will say you are crazy, or dramatic, or any other hurtful word you can think of. You need to remember that there is nothing you did wrong in this situation. Sometimes people are cruel and there is no explanation behind it. Don’t react, stay calm, move on. You can’t control this person’s actions so why get upset over it.
These people are not to be confused with your 3am friends. You know, the people who you call at 3am and they actually answer and come to your rescue? Do favors for them, focus on them and love them. The people who are only worried about themselves aren’t deserving of your time so don’t let them bring you down either.