Morning Rituals are Underrated

As long as I can remember, I was organizing and making lists. From my to-do lists to my locker organization at school. No literally, I used to sketch locker designs before bed each night. I was obsessed.

Anyways. One thing I would write down since high school was my morning routine. I would time myself down to the minute and knew exactly how long it took me to get ready in the morning. Do I sound crazy yet? It’s funny because sometimes I’m just aggressively lazy.

It wasn’t until very recently that I realized how important a morning routine really was, and have since called it a morning ritual.

With my hectic schedule and a never ending to-do list, I need structure. During the day, my schedule is constantly changing. I could be sitting at my desk all day on Tuesday, then Wednesday I might be driving to antique shops looking for some new office furniture (no literally, this is what I do for work). Some days, I might have to drop everything I’m doing to meet a last minute deadline for a client. I’ve found that the best thing to keep me calm and centered on these hectic days is my morning ritual.

I wake up about 3 and a half hours before I need to be at work, and I go through this ritual. It includes working out, meditating, eating breakfast, getting ready for the day and even my drive to work. I can go into a little more detail with my ritual in another post, but today I want to focus on why a morning ritual is so important.

Doing the same thing every morning can seem boring and even tedious to some people, but the trick is scheduling in time for things that will get you off to the right start. When I wake up and do all the things that make me feel good, even if they seem daunting at 6AM, by the time I get to work I feel as if I’ve accomplished so much for the day already!

A morning ritual sets your day up for success. When you get up and do things that make you feel and look good, your attitude changes. You’re engaging with people because you put together a baller outfit. You keep your desk clean because you made your bed. You have salad and Kombucha for lunch because you had a smoothie and lemon water for breakfast. You kill it with new clients because you killed it in the gym. See the pattern here?

It’s the little things in life people. Don’t take your mornings for granted!

I would love to hear some of your favorite things to do in the morning, so leave a comment!

VDay Vibes

 

Seeing as tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, I feel it only fitting to write about where I’m at with all that stuff (you know, love and all.) Well, I’m honestly no where lol. But it’s okay, I kind of like it that way.

If anyone knows me personally, they know that my love life over the past few years has been a little rough. I’ve always struggled to balance my relationship with the rest of my life. What can I say, I’m a Pisces: a hopeless romantic who, at times, gets a little too lost in the daydream and struggles to see reality. Okay, it actually happens like all the time-I come up with some pretty amazing scenarios I have to say!

So when I find myself wrapped up in someone that asks a lot more than they should of me, I tend to give it all to them. I don’t like to say ‘no’ to people and when I like you, I REALLY don’t like to say ‘no’ to you. In my head I’m doing it for the sake of the love story and ‘he’s my soulmate blah blah blah’. Except when I take my rose-colored glasses off at the end of it, it’s suddenly super obvious I was sooo wrong lol like what have I been doing with this guy?

At the risk of sounding like a bitch: I’m also guilty of the game so if you play hard-to-get I’m gearing up and ready to go too. I’m here for it. And that’s usually where I like to stay, in the game, especially if you’re a beautiful man because it keeps my heart at a safe distance. No hard feelings just a lot of flirting and fun. Until someone crosses the line of wanting more….I’ve been on both sides and it never really works out after that.

If you can’t read through the lines I’ll spell it out for you: I haven’t quite figured out how to invest in men that I actually like. Vulnerability is tough and if you want quality relationships you have to learn to be vulnerable. So the love life is no where really at the moment. And I’m okay with that. One day I’ll get there and right now, I’m fine if that’s not today. Happy Vday Fam!

Love, Sioban

My 2018 Resolutions

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As we start to settle back into our routines, some of our resolutions may begin to slip through the cracks a bit. I can feel myself veering away and wanted to remind myself as well as motivate some of you to remember and revisit some of the things you are wanting to accomplish this year. I’ve created my resolutions in a way that I can grow and add onto them all this year. There is a general goal, but endless ways I could go about achieving it. I recommend you do this for continual growth. Enjoy!

Develop My Personal Brand
If I’m being honest, I’m not TOTALLY sure what this entails, but one of my bigger goals is to figure out what I’m passionate about and put it out into the world! I have been toying with many different things, all surrounding the idea of creating my own brand. This year I hope to gain more insight and direction!

Focus On My Health
I’ve learned so much about nutrition and nourishing my body this past year. My view on what ‘healthy’ means and looks like has changed greatly. Throughout this year I want to focus more on feeding my body what it needs and not always what it wants (*cough cough* ice cream *cough*). Along with my nutrition, I want to find a workout schedule and routine that works for me.

Build Meaningful Friendships
Since graduating from college in 2015, I’ve realized it’s a bit tougher meeting people in the real world. While I have made friends and strengthened my current relationships in 2017, I hope to meet and collaborate with other female bloggers and leave 2018 with even stronger friendships than I started.

Constantly Learn More
One big thing that I want to focus on this year is expanding my knowledge and continue to learn. This includes reading before bed, listening to podcasts, going to events, etc.. I recently started a list of books that I want to read and I’d love to start checking some of those off my list and sharing my knowledge with all of you!

Thank you for reading! Let me know what your new years goals are
and what you are doing now to reach them!

xx, Sioban

2017 Reflections

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The new year is a beautiful and exciting thing. It allows us all to reflect about the past year and celebrate not only our breakthroughs but also our struggles. I’ve learned so much in 2017, I didn’t even realize this until I took the time to sit down and reflect. I’ve decided to share my reflections as well as some of my goals for this new year.

I started out 2017 a little confused and lost. I had just gotten out of a long-term/long-distance relationship (literally on New Years Day) and was learning how to be on my own again. I used to find peace in working out but my passion for it wasn’t as great as it was in 2016. I was in a dark place then so fitness really pulled me out of the hole I dug for myself. Entering 2017, it was just part of my routine now. I still feel it to be very important and I still enjoy working out,  but it wasn’t something I was interested in pursuing any further than I already had. I was ready to explore something different.

2017 was a year of spiritual breakthrough. I’ve grown up going to Sunday School and church on Sundays, but I’ve always felt a disconnect with God. I couldn’t completely wrap my head around the idea of believing in something you couldn’t see. I didn’t understand how people could have this deep connection with the unknown. I believe in being a good person, but that’s so surface level and I couldn’t connect to the deeper meaning behind it all.

By spring I was drawn to a few people on YouTube who believed that the universe has a plan for us all and we need to be open to it. Going into the summer I attended a Tony Robbins seminar; it was such an eye opening experience. His approach to living is so beautiful it really changed my perspective on how to live. I learned that I was in control of a lot more than I thought I was. By fall, I found myself more at peace and wanting to explore this lifestyle further. I started reading and researching and before I knew it I had found something spiritual that finally resonated with me.

There are things in life that we have no control over. They could be beautiful things or they could be tragic things, but all of these things are happening for a reason and it’s to build you into the person you were meant to be. I was able to look at my past experiences (good and bad), appreciate them all, and be grateful that they happened. I’ve built a love for myself and my life that I didn’t have before and I’m actually excited for the unknown (aka the future). I have no idea where my life is going but I believe it’s going somewhere beautiful because I am not fighting it I am allowing it to happen.

I didn’t realize how much I’ve grown over the past year until I reminisced on all of this. I honestly think 2017 has been one of the best years of my life. I’ve never been more excited to grow and to see where the universe takes me. I’d love to hear any of your 2017 breakthroughs as well so we can all reminisce together.

Love, Sioban

Don’t Let Them Bring You Down

Let me give you a little background about myself: I’m a very nice person. In fact, I’m sometimes too nice. I’m the person that people take advantage of. I’m the person who is welcoming to anyone they meet. I can’t be mean or rude when a man (or rather ‘boy’) hits on me or makes me uncomfortable. When my personal bubble is CLEARLY being violated, I probably won’t tell that person to screw off. Because I can’t stand the idea of being mean to another person.

With my inability to be mean to someone else, comes the overwhelming sensitivity to someone being mean to me. I’ve been taken advantage of in all aspects of my life: as a coworker, as a friend, as a roommate, as a classmate, as a stranger…I get taken advantage of a lot. I’m the girl who rearranges her priorities for you. Just pull on my heart strings and you’ll probably get something out of me.

Now this isn’t a pity party. I don’t want you to think that this is something I hate about myself. It’s something I absolutely love about myself because there aren’t enough of us in the world. I’m someone others can trust and count on. One of the biggest lessons that I’ve learned over the years is that there is always someone who is going to try to take advantage of you. What really matters is how you handle it.

Of course my biggest struggle I’ve had with these situations is how to handle them. Should I be nice and do what they ask/demand of me? Should I be mean? Is there a happy median? What are you supposed to do about someone who did you wrong and still comes back for more? Do what you feel comfortable doing, be nice. But DO NOT fall victim.

You may be able to pull off a little white lie, they may be understanding, or you may just piss them off. More than likely you’ll piss them off. You know how I know this? Because they are more SHOCKED that you said ‘no’ and this is the only way they know how to react. It’s not you, I promise.

This is the most important time that you need to stay strong and stick with your gut. They will say you are crazy, or dramatic, or any other hurtful word you can think of. You need to remember that there is nothing you did wrong in this situation. Sometimes people are cruel and there is no explanation behind it. Don’t react, stay calm, move on. You can’t control this person’s actions so why get upset over it.

These people are not to be confused with your 3am friends. You know, the people who you call at 3am and they actually answer and come to your rescue? Do favors for them, focus on them and love them. The people who are only worried about themselves aren’t deserving of your time so don’t let them bring you down either.

Love, Sioban

Know Your Worth

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(image via: Eye of the Beholder)

WARNING! This is very blunt and to the point.

I have way too many girlfriends who put up with scumbags. As women, we have this idea in our heads that we are the problem. We aren’t doing enough for our partner and that’s why they treat us the way they do. It’s our fault.

No, it’s not our fault. It’s theirs.

There are plenty of reasons why you may still be with someone. Loneliness, guilt, hurt, fear, or maybe you believe that you don’t deserve anything better. If you’re feeling any of these feelings, you need to be on your own, for a few reasons:

One, if your significant other is making you feel any of these feelings, it is not a good match right off. You are in for a lot more hurt in the future whether you want to believe this or not. Sure you may get married, but it will most likely end in unhappiness. You will teach your sons that it’s okay to treat women this way, and you will teach your daughters that this is how men treat their wives. You will feel lonelier than you would if you were actually alone.

Two, if you are scared to be alone, you need to be alone. And you need to stop wallowing in your sorrows and remember that you aren’t actually alone. No you won’t have 24-hour attention from a man, but you’ll have attention from your girlfriends and family, which is something you can actually rely on. Loneliness is terrifying and hard to get through but it is necessary to grow and to become better. You need to discover your worth and your passions without someone else constantly influencing them.

Three, if you aren’t happy in your relationship but you don’t leave, you’re being disloyal to your partner. Just because he’s a scumbag DOES NOT mean you need to be a scumbag too. You’re lying to him and you’re lying to yourself. Enough about him though, YOU are miserable and you’re feeling guilty for leaving him. STOP IT. He’s not loving you the way you need to be loved. You’re wasting your time on him when you could be out there meeting the man who actually knows how to love you.

Four, in the beginning this guy was so great and all of a sudden ‘he’s changed’. Believe me I KNOW THIS. But maybe he hasn’t changed at all…maybe he’s been like this the entire time and you didn’t see it because you were still getting to know him. Well now you know him. This is tough. The guy you thought he was isn’t the guy he is. But remember who you thought he was and how much you loved THAT person. Because a person like THAT is who you actually need to be with.

Relationships are tough, which is exactly why you shouldn’t settle for less than what you want. I want a guy who opens any and all doors for me. And I don’t plan on dating anyone until he does just that. Some people could call me high maintenance, but that’s just how I receive love. I need to feel appreciated and respected, because on the other side of the coin is a woman who will drop anything to help her man out. You need to get out of your head and stop telling yourself that you can put up with the relationship you’re in because it’s not like you have to AT ALL.

If you’re interested in learning about the different ways people receive and give love, I recommend reading The 5 Love Languages.

Love, Sioban