Your life is what you believe, and the most powerful belief is your identity. In order to propel yourself forward and create major momentum towards your goals, you need to take serious inventory on your mind and mental health. You need to create an identity that you believe is worthy of your dreams. If you’re dreaming it, it’s inside of you to become. That’s your passion and who you’re meant to be.
Self-worth and confidence is a skill to be developed, no one is just born with it. We get what we tolerate, this is how people get stuck in cycles and loops. If you continually tolerate a certain level of satisfaction, you will always be at that level until you decide you deserve more. Read that again.
Developing my self-worth has been one of the biggest obstacles and was the thing that held me back from really going after what I wanted in my life. Below are my top tips in continually building your self-worth.
Like I always say…awareness is the first step. Awareness creates space in your mind to decipher between what is “real” and what is not. Your life is what you decide to perceive it as, seriously our minds are crazy things. Most of your self-worth is mental, very little of it comes from external circumstances. If you’re just starting to develop your self-worth, I’d suggest reflecting and evaluating your triggers. Some journal prompts could be:
Where do you receive the most external validation and what for?
Why is this validation important to you?
How can you create this validation within yourself?
Continue to evaluate your current circumstances and make mental notes when it happens. This could be in the form of actions or negative self-talk. You will not be able to catch yourself initially, it might be an afterthought. But the afterthought was there, and believe it or not, that’s the 10 degree shift we need to progress forward.
Once you develop an awareness, you can begin to shift the narrative in your mind.
As an example, you may begin to notice that you have a pattern of over-committing to other people. This over-commitment comes from your desire to be enough. If you are enough, then you are worthy of love. Now that you recognize and understand the pattern, you can take active steps to shift your worth inwards. Incorporating affirmations into your morning routine is a good first step. While you’re brushing your teeth in the morning, you could say to yourself “My worth is seen and recognized. I do not need to prove it anyone.”
Flipping the script when you speak negatively about yourself is another great tactic. Once a thought crosses your mind and you’re able to catch it, take the extra step to replace it with a positive thought. By doing this, we are interrupting your automatic thought process and rewiring the brain.
Take Inventory of Your Peers
Jim Rohn famously said that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. If you’re struggling with low self-worth, it’s time to assess your peers.
Your peers should challenge you. Your peers should hold themselves at a higher standard. Your peers should desire to grow and evolve just as much, if not more, than you. This challenge and friction forces you to level up constantly. Leveling up includes building that self-worth muscle.
What your peers should also do for you is recognize your worth. They should not question it. They should desire and support your growth just as much as their own. They should remind you of your worth on days where you need it, and you should be doing the same for them.
If you’re struggling to build a solid peer group, here are some places to start:
mentors & coaches (their job is to remind you that you are capable and worthy of more)
group programs or support groups (to meet like-minded people who desire the same things out of life)
social media (some of my biggest hypemen are on IG – haven’t even met yet)
network marketing (don’t knock it til you try it, huge supporters right here and very goal-oriented people)
Act As If You Are Worthy
This is by far the most challenging tip but the most effective. Taking massive action not only shows others what you tolerate and expect, but it proves to yourself what you are capable of and what you deserve. Taking massive action can look like:
Walking away from someone who doesn’t appreciate you.
Leaving a company that doesn’t value you.
Hiring a coach or mentor.
Signing up for a seminar to develop your skill set in a desired area.
Ultimately, self-worth starts with you. You set the standard of your life and everything else follows. If you resonated with this post and are seeking more guidance, you can sign up for a mentorship session here.
Thank you for reading.