Hi fam. I figured it’s been a minute so here I am. Not going to lie I’m feeling very uninspired at the moment so we’ll see where this post gets me. One word to describe the last 4 months of my life: lost. My life feels like a giant question mark and I’m finding myself asking more often than not “how the hell is this all supposed to make sense one day?”
I’m craving solitude. I’ve been putting an extra emphasis on my social life and making others happy to the point where I’m pretty close to empty myself. Basically, hopping on a plane to some deserted island ALONE sounds pretty great right about now.
I’m not writing this to bitch, complain or overshare. I write and post to relate. Sometimes I get tired of having a positive outlook on life. Sometimes I want to lean into my shitty head space and bitch. Sometimes I want to lay around and do absolutely nothing. Sometimes I want to feel my pain and sit with it.
I’m constantly battling with myself about this. Doing what’s best for me versus what the rest of the world is pushing me to do. The biggest lesson I’m learning is to listen more to my intuition. Fuck what everyone else wants me to do. Fuck if I seem boring because I’d rather spend Friday night laying in bed. That’s where I’m at. I’m burnt out on it. You can’t live for other people.
I know this is short and sweet, but I want this post more than anything to be a reminder that it’s okay to not be okay. Accepting this hole in my chest has been one of the HARDEST things, and I’m not totally convinced I’ve accepted it. Self-care and self-love is what gets you out of your bad times. Not doing the things everyone else wants you to do. I’m now making a more conscious effort to do this.